Well, we don’t have to play the will-he-or-won’t-he game about President Donald Trump’s attendance at the World Cup round of 16 in Seattle, where the United States will face off against Belgium.
It turns out that both Trump and Vice President JD Vance are too chickenshit to travel to the terrifying no-go zone of Seattle to watch the game.
It’s kind of weird that the White House isn’t interested in having a presence at the game, especially given what an opportunity it is for the administration to display its patented brand of creepy jingoism.
It’s also weird for the recipient of the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize and head of the host country to skip the games, especially when Trump bragged that he would be attending several of them.
But sure, blow off the United States getting to the round of 16. It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything.
Maybe Trump and Vance are giving it a pass because Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. got booed mightily on June 19, when he attended the matchup between the United States and Australia.
In part, apparently, this is because he is reviled in Australia for his COVID-19 anti-lockdown and anti-vaxx efforts—because Australia is not a country in thrall to weirdo eugenicist freaks like Kennedy.
Or maybe Trump is giving it a pass because his appearance at Game 3 of the NBA finals was almost the kiss of death for the New York Knicks, breaking their 13-game playoff winning streak.
Man, that’s some big loser energy, huh?
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Seattle residents are probably extremely hyped to have this match in their backyard, what with nearly 150,000 people coming to Pioneer Square for the U.S.-Australia match, and they’re probably even more hyped not to have Trump poison the experience.
Also, the upcoming match against Belgium is the last one to be played in Seattle, so it’s no doubt going to be big.
The administration has tried mightily to wreck the World Cup, but Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin’s hateful and dangerous rhetoric about the Iranian national team didn’t ruin it. Nor did his claim that World Cup crowds would lead to criminal activity and that Immigration and Customs Enforcement would be “out there every day fighting against the counterfeit tickets, human trafficking, drug smuggling.”
The administration also failed to frame the U.S. team as some sort of white supremacist extravaganza, posting gross stuff like “DEFEND THE HOMELAND” and “OUR SOIL” over a picture of non-white players.
And then there was the administration’s effort to punish other countries by refusing to allow referees and fans into the country.
But none of it worked.
Unlike Trump and Vance, Americans are thrilled to see the World Cup—attending in record numbers, watching broadcasts in record numbers, and celebrating the multi-racial, multi-country joy that is the World Cup.
But we can’t imagine what horrors would await the U.S. team if it goes all the way.
Would players have to shotgun beers with FBI Director Kash Patel? Would they have to attend next year’s State of the Union address? Would Trump crony and all-around corrupt suckup Gianni Infantino, the head of FIFA, declare that the team will go to the White House while the team very much does not do that?
No matter what, Monday’s U.S-Belgium game is going to be so, so much better without Trump or Vance there to wreck the vibe.
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